The Nonsensical Journal

 

1. Acquire a driving license, or befriend guys with driving licenses.

 

 

 

2. Purchase a vehicle that reflects upon your social status, even if it reflects it falsely (yes you there driving around in a 2011 Mercedes with the service light forever flashing)

 

 

 

3. Start cruising up and down The Gulf Road or The Love Road (Ps. The Love road has absolutely nothing to do with love, in fact its technically a high way, however it has been dubbed this for facilitating success in picking up chicks)

 

 

 

4. Spot a girl who seems interested in you. If she is not looking or responding she is playing hard to get. If she continues to not look or respond she wants you to harass her until she runs over a curb or smashes into a tree, lamp post, etc.

 

 

 

5. Start driving after her and stalk her obsessively through every corner she bends, and every stop she makes (Even if it’s a gas station or store… or even her home. Note, if father or siblings arrive, you pretend you are lost)

 

 

 

6. Begin a frantic display of infantile humor and gestures to gain a smile. Smiles of sympathy and laughs of ridicule are all perfectly good signs of her being interested.

 

 

 

7. Once smile has been initiated it is time to relay the phone number. This can be done through several acceptable methods:

• Bluetooth connection – note that the problem with this method is identifying which Bluetooth moniker belongs to her. (is she sexy mo7jaba 79? Or na3ma? Or el 7lwa? Etc)
• Intricate hand gestures to detail your digits in their specific order
• Written on a piece of paper that can be thrown into her vehicle (or mysteriously found in her bag if you were following her in a mall)
• Have a custom made decal on your car that details your BB Pin, Hotmail, Phone number, Address, and where you usually hang out after work.

 

 

 

8. Under no circumstance do you approach the girl, talk to her and give her the number in a socially acceptable manner anywhere else in the world. This would automatically mean she’s a girl of low morals and unethical behavior (aka a slut).

 

 

 

9. Once number is handed over, wait for initial contact to be made.

 

 

 

10. Spend countless nights chatting over the cell phone while she speaks to you as a girl so no one notices she is talking to a man. Have intimate midnight calls which involve phone sex, and end it by performing dawn prayer.

 

 

11. Rinse and repeat until you have picked up at least 10 to 15 girls, after which you promptly marry your cousin because family tradition dictates this. Continue your affair with the girls you picked up, because your wife is only for cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids.

 

 

 

12. Brag about it to all your friends and be hailed as a legend.