The Nonsensical Journal

You become an internet professional living here, it has become much more than the information superhighway, it has established itself into an authentic virtual social venue. You become an internet dweller and a video game enthusiast, quite a few of us find ourselves locked in on weekends ensnared by multi massive online role playing games such as World of Warcraft, or Age of Conan, or RIFT… or all 3…

Yes I have enough free time in my allocated after work social hours to engage in three online games at once… this is the pinnacle of my social achievement this year.

Remember when it was weird to get know a person online? Remember how you wouldn’t really reveal how you got to know that person, and they were always a friend of a friend no one ever heard of… which was bullshit because you only had two friends all in all… I fail to pinpoint when it became a social norm, I think it happened overnight.

Now everyone is online, friendships are forged; people date, and even get married… hell, even revolutions are instigated online. There was a time when you were never really convinced with the validity of the person you are chatting with, and nine times out of ten it would be a fat hairy fifty year old man who lives in his grandmothers little basement.

My point is… What happened to the fifty year old fat hairy man? Shouldn’t someone check up on him? After all he did put a lot of effort into making you believe he was the playmate of the month chatting to you live from the mansions hot tub.

I am genuinely concerned about this man and I suggest we start a petition to save his life purpose from fading away. We should all pledge to carry on his legacy when we turn fifty… although if you are fifty and still living with your grandmother I suppose you really have no other choice…

It’s a digital era, a new world order… We can’t leave the house without our iPhones and Blackberries, we can’t have breakfast without reading the news on our iPads. We can’t be bothered to start up our cars so we signal it with a remote, we can’t be bothered to memorize directions so we listen to a machine tell us where to go in a country we lived in all our lives…

The human brain during the course of the last ten years has been on one hell of a vacation, although it probably started with the invention of the calculator. Wonderful gadget really, I don’t even have to figure out ten percent of a bill anymore… they even have them on all the phones, you know, for that emergency mathematical equation one might encounter during the day…

You never know when you will be attacked by a renegade calculus equation…

I sometimes find myself puzzled and perplexed when my phone rings, and the first thought that pops into my head is why they haven’t just texted what they want to say… why must I endure the torture of using such barbaric methods as vocal communication?

It’s the twenty first century and the need for human interaction is not called for dammit… then again deleting text messages from telemarketers won’t be as amusing as hanging up on them…

This is dedicated to the fat old fifty year old man who has helped serve the internet community with the perseverance and devotion of a true pervert… Sir, we salute you.