The Nonsensical Journal

The Delorean Made it seem so simple

Turtles, tortoises, snails and various extraordinary sluggish creatures gathered in an urgent summit to discuss their current state of affairs. They have all decided to embark on time travel. The eclectic gatherings of slow creatures have been so slow that they need access to time travel to catch up to the present… some of them are still trying to catch up to Noah’s ark, and there are those who are currently at the location wondering where Noah is exactly, and was this flood all a big rumor? They are presently in the past waiting for a moment that has come to pass, a long time ago, somewhere in the past.

I too would like to time travel. Not to the past (it can’t be that great if it was it should still be here… Also, I grew attached to modern facilities such as bathrooms), nor the present (as it isn’t that great either, trust me, I’m already here) instead I’m headed to the ever so clichéd future. I am not quite sure what to expect 100 years from now, either a post apocalyptic Mad Max world, or a sudden enlightenment as to why my grandfather had such difficulty operating a remote as I try to operate my hologram assistant.

I am not sure what ingredients or components are needed to achieve time travel, other than travelling at the speed of light (I’ve been jogging daily trying to work up to that speed) but I think it will probably involve some hard to find material or ore with an imaginative and mysterious name such as “unobtainium”… I wonder if it can be obtained… If it is then I suppose it would be called “obtainium”

I’m also not sure if you can take luggage with you; I’ve never seen anyone time travel with luggage. I wonder if there is a maximum weight like airline industries who try to convince me that an extra kilogram is a huge deal to add to tons of flying metal… which is actually more convincing than their whole emergency system in case of a crash… the only thing tucking my head between my knees achieves is putting me in a final uncomfortable position as I plummet to my death; the last thing I want is a piece of luggage flying around and knocking me out causing me to miss the thrilling final ten minutes.

The key to time travel is to keep it organized. The only way to keep it organized is to only travel forward. Travelling to the past might cause a loop, since every time your past self arrives to the time that you travel back, will cause your past self to travel back as well, which might end up in quite a lot of you running around in the past trying to catch up to the present… And I’m lost…

Point is keep moving forward, you will simply disappear from now and appear then, and so on, and if people really care about you someone should put out a reward for finding you, which would be really cool to claim your reward in the future for finding yourself (you’re probably going to need the cash, I suspect present currency to be outdated in the future)