The Nonsensical Journal

"Give me a hour plus a pen and a pad"

I remember the first book I ever read. It was a pink hardcover edition of Alice in Wonderland, and for a boy at age 8 or 9 still pretending to be a cop or a cowboy, or one of Batman’s villains (I’ve always rooted for the bad guy) it was probably the least appealing marketing technique to lure me in… Yet for some reason, I picked it up and I started reading…

Yes most, if not all the adult humor was probably lost on me and I do recall the poems not making much sense, but for some reason I couldn’t put it down. Captivated was I with the story and how the words manipulated my imagination to create the most intricately detailed visual fabrications… All this from mere words, words that painted an entire world… A wonderland… Although the cat gave me nightmares, so I probably could have done without that imagery…

It also gave me an appetite for mushrooms, I loved them because of that book and later in life I enjoyed the magical variety just like Alice.

Since then nothing has given me a feeling of euphoria that is anyway remotely similar to being engrossed in a really good book, and since then nothing broke my heart more than finding myself on the last page.

I would sneak novels that were above my grade level from the school library… Yes I nicked a few books from school, but that was only because my teachers wouldn’t let me check out something above my reading level, and I generally never like being told that I cannot do something… so I snuck them out… the next day I purchased my first dictionary…

Looking back at it I think my mother must’ve thought it was a weird request for a child…

I was perhaps ten. That day, I had just returned from school, chucked my bag in my room and made the mistake of wandering into the living room where my father happened to be. For some unknown reason, could have been planetary alignment or maybe a bout of syphilitic insanity, we shall never know, he proceeded to beat me. I had yet to say hello, which I had no intention of saying in the first place, but you get the notion of how fast matters unraveled.

Now this wasn’t something new or surprising to me in the least, if anything I blame myself for walking into the living room to start with, at that age and after veteran experience with this, I should’ve known better. The only difference between that day and any other was that I just went back to my room and I started writing, and I was hooked.

I was hypnotized by how ink glided on paper, the scent of ink, the touch of paper… and the more I wrote the better I felt, the more I said the more it listened. I never went anywhere without a pen and a pad, and till this day even though I do most of my writing on MS Word, I still carry a pen and pad. If I have nothing to write, I’ll scribble, write down lyrics I memorized, doodle… I just didn’t want to ever put it down.

I won a literature contest the following year; it was the single happiest moment of my life. It would be the first and last time I would share anything I wrote till maybe three years ago… Thanks to effin’ Facebook…

Now I know most of you might be disturbed or slightly horrified or some “American child’s right sentiment” crap, about the fact that my father beat me which made you miss the point that this is really about why I love reading and writing.

If you are feeling sorry, or sympathetic, then do both of us a favor and stop. You’re wasting it on a person who has been otherwise fortunate, privileged, and lucky. The fact that I sit here in front of a computer about to log onto World of Warcraft while I waste electricity by having the Television on for background noise and having you feel sorry for me… would highly infuriate an African child on his 3k hike to get water and the Asian kid that made your Nikes…

That’s all I have to say, I love reading and I love writing. Two companions whose faith, loyalty and trust never break, and while I appreciate that some of you take time to read this, the reality is this blog, like all what I have ever written is really just for me… So thanks to the few of you who come along for the ride…

Assholes…