The Nonsensical Journal

This is Democracy I believe in

Perhaps I can just use my imagination to drift away from where I currently am… perhaps I can sightsee the universe, or visit exotic locations like Alpha Myo III where the inhabitants are friendly enough to be invaded and enslaved, and I can therefore bring them the planets greatest export; The ambition of world domination.

I will then use those inhabitants to build me statues, pyramids, basilisks, and various other useless structures that will remain intact for millions of years to come… Then I will introduce religion to them and declare myself the high lord who can make miracles come to life, and no one will ask for a demonstration since I would smite them down where they stand. (Has anyone been smote in a place where they were not standing?)

Of course none of this would be possible without a democratic dictatorship, I hold yearly elections but unfortunately no one seems to want to run against me, I guess the responsibility of torment… helping the masses lies on my shoulder alone.

No good leader is worth his multimillion-dollar suit if he does not appoint proper puppets under him. Titles like Grand Vizier, and the Less Grand Vizier, are those who take care of the daily mundane chores for me; Such as people disappearing, and using various means of force to impose peace.

I will then take all my ideologies, beliefs, and policies that I have recently enacted on my enslaved race, and force them upon other unenlightened neighboring planets. Naturally, those people would rather be under my democratic dictatorship than the plain old dictatorship they have… those are so last year.

Now it’s a democracy which means after I am gone a new and fresh new face will emerge, fortunately for me, my son and his unborn sons already possess an avid political personality, and are very interested in being forced into my seat… In addition, the people voted for him with a whopping 95% favorability. The remaining 5 percent could not be found, I am currently diligently investigating that though, so do not worry… I will get on it right after this bill of increasing bureaucratic red tape for missing person’s investigations has passed. (Demanded by the people, for the people, I assure you)

Anyway, all these are just dreams, so I wake up and get back to work…