The Nonsensical Journal

I’m not leaving my video games for this nonsense…

But you see I grow tired and weary, and each passing day bestows a little more of emo dust that clouds my vision and covers my wrists… which was pretty much case and point in that starting statement… the problem however remains and my depression grows…

Bear with me this isn’t a suicide note, and if it was you should probably read it to the end since it’s the least you could for a dying blogger you do not know…

That’s all we are though anonymous to one another in this vast online world, and it’s a relief to find some escape from the rest of the world… although the rest of the world is also seeking relief from the rest of the world by being online, so really, I’m just online with the same pricks I am trying to escape…

Life’s a bitch…

Politics are the hot topic of the year, and last year, with these revolutions that will not end… they have been clinging onto the notion of Democracy and Freedom like it’s the answer to all their problems, but Democracy and Freedom have been nothing more than tools of illusion…

We are chasing a dream that is based on fantasy.

And the masses seek the true president… hold up; in case you are wondering…  Yes, I am referencing Egypt…  of course you may wonder on what authority do I believe I have to criticize the situation… Simple, in the online world I can claim to be anyone from anywhere… so for now I am Egyptian, tomorrow perhaps Māori…

Maybe I’m a ten-year-old girl from South Dakota with an immature mature personality…

See my problem isn’t with whoever becomes President, to me it doesn’t matter, I didn’t even vote, in fact I refuse to vote, I don’t see a point in participating in this nonsense and ridiculous façade… not only that but I refuse to believe that one man is capable of fixing a nation and running it, while I have difficulty running my office job… now I’m not a genius, but I’m not stupid either and therefore I am comparing it simply as a job…

By that standard every president ever needs to be a genius, any person running a country needs to have a set of elite idealistic qualities, along with high moral integrity and fiber, and a way above average IQ…  George W. Bush… I rest my case…

Now I’m not going to slam Bush on anything, except the fact that I am quite sure he wouldn’t be able to do my Human Resources office job, let alone run an entire country… you know, unless he was running it into the ground…

So I refuse to vote, I refuse to participate in those little political charades that are supposed to make me feel better that I am somehow running my country… to satisfy the inner patriot… Patriotism is another concept that I despise, because religion wasn’t enough in creating an “Us versus Them” mentality, no, we need to further the divide boys…

I don’t know who runs the world, I don’t know who is responsible for all the wheels in motion, but I refuse to believe its one man elected by the masses every few years… I cant imagine a ship with a new captain, every now and then we would be steering into completely new directions… it just doesn’t make sense to me.

Now I know the conspiracy theorists are already jumping chanting Illuminati and various other secret societies that somehow everyone knows about and thus creating a paradox in my mind that haunts me continuously, although I usually dismiss those claims with a sarcastic ambiguous quip that would leave me pardoned in case these claims were true… and leave me clever as long as they are unproven…

So I’m tired of people, I’m tired of all the politics, and I find myself more and more drifting with my mind and eye fixated on the galaxy above me, wandering between stars, planets, and infinite dark mystery looming over my head… I’m trapped…

I’m trapped on a beautiful planet with a wicked curse, suspended for a brief glimpse in an infinite universe, blessed with never ending imagination for an existence that will provide no answers as long as I remain… hell we don’t even know if we get an answer after we leave…

For now though I have to get some sleep because tomorrow and for the next twenty years or so, I have to get up put on a suit and go to work… and then I will retire and sit on a porch watching the sun set on a post apocalyptic world, wondering where all the time had went…

If I’m lucky I wont live to see that day… but I’ve never been that fucking lucky…