The Nonsensical Journal

Perhaps I should just count sheep

I think of death on a daily basis… not in a suicidal wanting to die kind of way, just a healthy curiosity about it. I wonder about what would be the best way to take your life… or which methods are the most painful and least painful… what difference does pain play in death since the end result is the same?

I think about the afterlife and whether it really exists… do we just call it the afterlife to make ourselves feel better, as if there is life after death? Or is there really something there? Or will it just be an end, roll credits, someone cries, buried, and… life goes on

I think of reincarnation and how horrid of concept it is, because I really don’t understand why anyone would want to return to this planet… then again it’s not like you have a choice, reincarnation just happens doesn’t it?

I think of the reason behind all this organized chaos we label the universe, and whether everything is just coincidence or planned divine intervention… I think why would God be interested in manipulating man, rewarding or condemning us?

I think if God is omnipotent, and knows everything I am about to do, and say, and act, and even my final destination… then why do I bother getting up in the morning?

I think if God doesn’t exist and all this is just random existence… why do I bother getting up in the morning?

I think of Ganesh and why anyone would want to worship an elephant looking God, and how do these followers feel when they go to the circus and see Ganesh turning tricks like a prostitute.

I think about my vision and everything I see, how real and tangible everything can seem sometimes, and other times they seem like a dreamy haze, like I’m trapped in the matrix (could be good pot)

I think about my soul and spirit, and if they really exist, and what is the difference between them? Or is it all just biological functions and my brain is lost in thought due to neurological disorders or synapses that wont fire right.

I think about the role of governments and stand amazed at how much a people can tolerate. War, famine, lack of education and health care, and their president driving around in a brand new gold plated Rolls

I think about emotions and why they control us, and often enslave us, and I don’t see a point to them. I’d rather feel indifferent to everything than care for a single thing.

I think about fortune and wonder what are the chances I was born into this circumstance of life, what if I was in a village in Africa? Or part of a royal family? Would I be a different person, or would I maintain the same person I am now?

I think about the future and whether I would want to know or not what events shall transpire… Will it put my mind at ease? Or will it take the thrill out of the adventure?

Then I finally fall asleep, and I don’t dream as my mind grows tired from thinking about useless matters…